Friday, March 2, 2007

It's like buying a car, then stripping it for parts.

For the most part, I tend to stay out of my wife's business, as I expect her to stay away from mine. After all, the marriage is strictly for business convenience, (tax breaks, liability umbrella's, anonymous off-shore bank acc....I said too much). Always the multi-tasker, the marriage also severed as a means for granting her US citizenship. Other then our casual acquaintance and separate living quarters, we barely co-exist.

That was until I saw the new 2007 John Deere tractor line. Bright shinny Green, polished yellow wheels, suuuue-weet ass....I need one. The problem, as you can imagine is the annual salary of a Wal-Mart greeter is far less than sufficient. I need cash, and I need cash fast.

This morning, I sent out a few emails to garnish interest in any of my wife's non-vital organs at a fair market price. By lunch I had a prospective buyer looking to get a "healthy kidney". We are in luck, my wife has two, and as far as I can tell (wikipedia), only one is required to sustain a normal life. SOLD.

The problem now becomes how I break the news to Ms. Pancho Villa. You thought she was mad when I brought the HDTV home with out some much as a consult.


"Hey honey, I had a great day, work was slow, and I sold your Kidney for a cool 150K....what's for dinner?"

But hey, At least I didn't lose our daughter in a game of poker.

[When Women Are Property: Husband Sells Wife's Kidney to Buy Tractor]

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