The President declared last night the State of our Union is strong. He then stepped aside and allowed Peyton Manning to endorse our "strong" union. This sponsorship by Manning means that he is now the spokesman for over 93% of all consumer facing products and according to Neilson Media, is responsible for selling over 98% of the United States GNP. It is no wonder President Bush asked him to be the celebrity spokesman in last nights address, he is the lynch pin to our economy. Bush was disappointed to see Manning do just enough to win the AFC championship and is concerned that Manning's shortened off-season will reduce the number of commercials he will be able to appear in by up to 20%. "When Manning is out of the playoffs early, he has more time to do those 'fluff' spots like encouraging them gays to come out of the closet." Bush stated. "Now he will only have time to do spots for Gatorade, Sony, MasterCard, Nike, GM, Sprint, Pepsi, USPS, DirectTV, eTrade, Bud Light, Vonage, Tag Hauer, Target, Got Milk, Girls Gone Wild, Peter Francis Geracy Info Tapes and Law and a celebrity endorsement for each product in the the Proctor and Gamble family."
Disney, betting on the fact that he will choke in the Super Bowl, has inked Manning as the face of their entire 2007-2008 Global advertising strategy, and has dropped the traditional super Bowl MVP shouting "I am going to Disneyworld". This will to ensure Manning's impact will have greater reach among the girl tween audience of 9-12.
1 comment:
he may be able to all those ads but can he do the mother fucking moonwalk?
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